Are the boys alright?
ABC 214: On friendship, loneliness, and modern masculinity
Thank you for hanging in there while I took paternity leave. There have only been two pauses in the nine years of the Article Book Club, and I’m excited to return to regularly scheduled programming.
Ever since I learned I was having a boy, I’ve been particularly attuned to discussions of toxic masculinity. Several recent shows, podcasts, and movies have circled around the question of why men and boys are floundering.
One of the most compelling answers is that many men lack the emotional outlet of deep friendships. Of course, the idea that guys have difficulty making and maintaining friendships is nothing new. (It’s the premise of my favorite SNL sketch, Man Park.) But there is something about today’s male-coded spaces—particularly online—that seems to argue that the right meditation or cold plunge routine can solve all unhappiness.
As this week’s author keenly observes, “What all of these [self-help] answers had in common was that they were not about leaning on others for support. There was one way out of despair: self-improvement.”
Perhaps the best way to help ourselves is instead to invite others to share the burden.
Here’s the piece: Where have all my deep male friendships gone?
Personal updates:
I gave my first commencement speech last weekend! You can watch the full speech here.
Registration for the next cohort of my course, Designing Your Next Career Step, closes in 48 hours. ABC readers get 10% off with this link.
Here’s a pic of the little one to make up for lost time.
Warmly,
Simo
P.S. The song of the week has one of the smoothest beats of all time. The full songs of the week playlist is here.
Congrats on the commencement speech!