no thanks
no thanks
ABC 142: On the feeling of not being ready to go back to the way things were
It feels tone-deaf. It must be couched in a half dozen disclaimers and acknowledgments of privilege. I feel guilty even typing it out. But I’m gonna miss the pandemic.
The pace. The simplicity. The introspection. As the light starts to peek through a keyhole at the end of this endless tunnel, we’re forced to confront a return to a life of jockeying for space on the train, bopping from backyard barbecue to rooftop birthday party, and ordering one more round even when we’d all rather be home on the couch.
I loved this short essay from Anne Helen Peterson (substack-ception) because it put words to something I’ve felt but wasn’t sure how to express: I am both champing at the bit and not quite ready for this chapter to end.
I love how she describes being “gripped by a weird, overarching hesitancy about the month of, oh, June, something like obsessing over the first day of middle school and then refusing to get out of the car when you pull up to the entrance.” The comment thread below the piece is worth the read as well.
Here’s the piece: No, I’m not ready
Warmly,
Simo
P.S. Sharing the smooooooth new track from Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars.
P.P.S. If you’re interested in following along my journey of writing my first book, I’ve been sharing video updates on Instagram.
Transitions are definitely hard, no matter how much you’re headed in a great new direction, but my god, I for one am so ready to go back. I am going to be so appreciative of every inconvenience other people present: the sweat and heat of the bodies on the train and the annoyance of jockeying for space; the interminable wait at a restaurant everyone else missed, too; the rudeness from the stranger on the street who’s just having a bad day; the coughs in the concert hall your neighbor just couldn’t contain — I will just be so glad to be doing things TOGETHER again that I am already preparing to react with gratitude to each and every moment of pettiness and insufferability that the upcoming reunion of humanity will bring flooding back into our lives. I mean it: what a blessing to be sharing space again! For all the minor and multifarious indignities it entails - it will be so much better to be together than to be apart.
It makes me bitter seeing articles like this, coming from people who never had to continue to work in person during the pandemic, in packed offices, doing home visits, transporting clients in small cars (one of the highest risk activities out there), still running in person groups, knowing that people who quit their jobs were sitting at home with their families getting paid more than I was, hearing that the state might cut our wages because of the economic impact. All of the risk, none of the relaxation. If you'd rather be on the couch at home than in a bar, maybe have better boundaries and just do that instead of wistfully appreciating a killer pandemic for intervening on your behalf?
Like I say...I'm pretty bitter about it. Been seeing this take a lot, and it just does not resonate.